


One Less Star

by SniperMoran



Series: Some Nights [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A different perspective, M/M, Some Nights series, alternate ending to What Child is This?, different kind of protective, hints of Wolfstar, how things might have turned out, the things Sirius does to keep his friends safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 11:16:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13270287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SniperMoran/pseuds/SniperMoran
Summary: It's a rising tide out thereThe waters crashing and fallingDragging against the coastPulling things and people out to seaIt's a rising tide out there...sometimes the water is too strong to fight againstSome nights are better than othersSome aren't.





	One Less Star

**Author's Note:**

> This may be a part of the 'Some Nights' series, but this is just an alternate way things could have turned out instead of how things ended in 'What Child is This?'  
> Never fear; this isn't my main storyline ending!

The thing about stars, is that while we see them in the night sky, twinkling away and bright as life--most of them are actually already dead. It takes so long for the light to travel to us that though they've burned out ages ago, their light still brightens our dark sky.

 

Everyone was talking about the war; it seemed like an inescapable thing. If it were any other topic, one might say the castle was 'abuzz' with it. There was still feeling about it, though. The feeling it brought about was tangible in the walls and floors, in the air that everyone was breathing. It was like a dense cloud over everything; a grey that seeped into every corner, a cold that melted into the bones.  
Attacks on muggleborn students were becoming more and more frequent; it was hard to keep up with them all, but the three Marauders did their best to stay ahead of the game. Students looked to them, now, for protection against the Slytherins who had clearly chosen their side in this fight. It had become readily available knowledge that if anyone felt unsafe, traveling to classes or elsewhere, they could call upon the Marauders for help. It was also highly advised by staff that students travel together in groups, to minimize the risks that were now flooding the halls.

Even with the holiday season approaching, there were disappearances being reported, deaths being tolled and attacks being monitored and investigated. Students were being sent home, or pulled home, left and right. Parents were fearing that their children were no longer safe within the once hallowed halls of Hogwarts School.  
The mood within the Gryffindor boys dorm was lighter, however, than that of the rest of the castle.

"When we get back, we really need to do something big to liven this place back up again," James chimed, scrubbing at his glasses with the tails of his white shirt. "At this point, I think even my dearest Lily Flower might agree with us setting off one of our pranks."  
"You might be right..." Remus added absently from his place behind the pages of an old book. He peered over it, a brow quirked slightly. "But what would we do? We've thought up and done all of our best works so far. What can top our previous accolades?" he asked, throwing a glance towards the third boy in the room, who was uncharacteristically quiet during the plotting of a new prank.  
Sirius, black hair falling in protective curtains around his face, was staring down at a bit of parchment he'd received at breakfast earlier that day. He'd been acting odd since receiving it, if the other two boys were honest, but neither had had the guts to ask about it yet.  
"Padfoot, you with us, mate?" James called, pushing freshly clean glasses back up the ridge of his nose. "We're talking pranks here, and you've yet to say a word..." he added, a slight tinge of worry tainting the tone of his voice as he rounded his bed and plopped down beside Sirius on his.  
Remus perked up a bit, lowering his book to his lap as he looked over to the other two boys. His eyes scanned over Sirius and he could practically smell the fear that was radiating from his tense body. "Sirius...what is it?" he breathed, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed to sit upright. "What's the parchment say?" he added, knowing his mood had to have something to do with whatever was written there.  
Swallowing heavily and seemingly pulled from whatever trance the scrawled words had him under, Sirius looked up, casting glances to each of his best mates before looking back down. "It's from them," he murmured finally, squeezing his eyes closed. "I...I can't spend Christmas with you two, I have to go home," he added, with a sort of finality to his tone that made James and Remus both rather nervous.  
Sirius was a fighter, he always had been. When his parents gave him orders, he would always fight against them, would outright disobey them more often than not. To see him rolling over and taking whatever it was they said was more or less disturbing and unsettling.  
"What's it say--" James reached for the parchment and Sirius quickly reeled back, drawing his wand as he stood and made for the fireplace. He set the page alight and tossed it into the already burning fire.  
"Nothing. It doesn't matter," he replied sharply, his tone biting, shaking slightly. "I just have to go..." he added more softly, in that register that only he and Remus could hear together. Their secret language, almost.  
"Well...at least...at least open my present to you then," James said, furrowing his brow as he hopped from Sirius' bed and dug around in his trunk. He came back up with a triumphant 'aha!' before striding across the floor to his best mate, handing over a poorly wrapped, oddly shaped object. "Before you say anything...open it, and I'll explain, okay?"  
Sirius raised a brow and looked down at the gift questioningly. Without a word, as James as requested, he opened the gift and found within a....  
"A mirror, really? I'm not /that/ vain, Potter," Sirius growled, taking a bit of offense to the object in his hands. "Why would you--"  
Before another word could pass his lips, James had pressed a finger to them, giving him a look that said 'I told you to let me explain'. He cleared his throat and produced a second mirror, identical to the one in Sirius' hands. "They're two-way mirrors. So...even when we aren't in the same place, no matter what distance separates us, I'll still be able to check on you, and you can still talk to me in secret, without the obvious sending of owls and such. And, seeing as Remus is going to be spending Christmas with me, we'll both be able to contact you, yeah? It'll be good!" James grinned and clapped a hand to Sirius' shoulder, the other boy still staring down at the mirror, with new eyes, now that James had explained it.  
"...you're not as much of an arsehole as I thought, then. You /do/ care," he teased, looking up at James with a smile that was forced, but he knew James wouldn't see through it.

Remus, however, having only been observing up until now, /could/ see through it. It didn't quite reach Sirius' eyes, and he knew that something was still very wrong. He made a mental note to himself to pull Sirius aside before he would leave tonight to ask about it. "So, what about when he gets back? Do I get a mirror too, Prongs?" he asked instead, keeping with the light mood that Sirius had put on.  
James whipped around, a wild grin on his face. "I'm so glad you asked, Moonmoon, because...." he dug around in his pocket, before producing yet another mirror. "Merry Christmas! I was /planning/ to give them to you both while we all celebrated at my house, but since I gave Sirius his already, for necessary purposes, I might as well give you yours, by default."  
"Oh, yes. By default. Thank you very much for that," Remus said rather dryly, through a grin that tugged at the corners of his lips.  
James gave a sheepish, apologetic shrug and huffed. "Anyway! I don't know about you lads, but I'm feeling rather /wolfish/. Shall we head down for dinner?" he asked, a twinkle in his eyes as he looked between the two other boys.  
Sirius rolled his eyes and gave a nod. "Yeah, yeah. Let's go with him, Moon, otherwise he'll be going /stag/."  
"You're both /barking/ mad, you know? I don't know how I ever got stuck with you," Remus replied with a small grin still on his lips. "Let's go then, before we all drown in fucking puns again," he added, shaking his head as he pushed himself from bed, abandoning his book.  
"Oohh~ Swear at me more, Moony~" Sirius purred, following along on his tail and out the door, James, with a roll of the eyes, following swiftly behind, bringing up the rear.  
"Honestly, you two should just kiss and get it over with already," he grumbled, though he was very thoroughly teasing. He didn't mind their playful, flirting banter as much anymore, what with that Lily Evans was actually on speaking terms with him.

Dinner went by smoothly; the boys bickered about love lives, chatted about their new mirrors to keep in touch with one another, and ate in a calm silence. When the tables had been cleared, and another announcement about keeping each other safe in these dark times was made, it was time for all those that were leaving to head to the station to depart for home.  
James and Remus accompanied Sirius up to the dorm to help him with his trunk and walked him to the station, where a small group of other students were waiting to board the train. James pulled Sirius into his arms, hugging him tightly. He tried to pretend he wasn't crying, but it wasn't working out too well for him. "Be safe, mate. We'll see you in the new year, yeah? Don't forget to keep your mirror handy; Moons and I will check in as often as possible," he murmured, still wrapped around Sirius. "Love you, Padfoot."  
"Love you too, Prongsy-boy. Now go on, gerroff me!" he exclaimed, chuckling through his watering eyes.  
It was Remus' turn next, and his golden-green eyes were already swimming as he pulled Sirius to him. "I love you, Sirius. And I mean that, I hope you know which way," he whispered, in that register that was between them. "I don't know what's going on, but I needed you to know that. To know that whatever happens, I'll love you," he added, pulling away just slightly so he could press a lingering kiss to the corner of Sirius' mouth.  
Tears streaked both of their cheeks as Sirius managed to whisper an 'I love you too, Remus' back. The train whistle made the three of them jump, and Sirius turned towards the open door to the carriage, climbing aboard. He glanced back at the two boys waiting on the platform for him, knowing in his heart that this would be the last time he would see either of them. He squeezed his eyes closed, trying to imprint them onto his brain as he turned and made his way into the train, finding a window seat so he could watch them disappear as they pulled away from the Hogsmede Station.

The trip from the station went by in a blur; Sirius swore he blinked and he was there, standing outside that awful door of that awful house. He hesitated just outside, but Kreacher grumbled something and prodded him to move forward through the open door. Once he stepped over the threshold, it was all over. He knew it was. This was the end, and he had to face it; he couldn't run away, no matter how much he wanted to.  
His mother stood at the end of the corridor, a toothy, awful grin on her face as she beckoned for Sirius to join them in the parlor. "Come along, boy. We've much to discuss about your future," she called, turning on her heel to rejoin the awful people that filled this awful house.  
Reluctantly, he trudged down the hall and made his way into the parlor, his gaze falling over each face; all of them belonging to those that were loyal to the one called the Dark Lord.  
A chair was pulled out for him and he took a seat, his eyes glazed over and not entirely seeing. He didn't want to be here, didn't want to pay attention to this, or hear any of it.

"You're coming of age now, Sirius; it's time you made a decision on where to stand. Growing up, you've been nothing but an arrogant brat, fighting against your family at every turn. Going so far as to allow yourself to be sorted into /Gryffindor/ of all places," his mother spat his house name as if acid had touched her tongue while she spoke. "No more of this foolishness. You are the /heir/ to the House of Black, and therefore you are to stand with your family. You /will/ stand with us," she added, a firmness to her voice that spoke to her apathy towards his attitude.  
Orion stood behind his wife's chair, watching his eldest son with a rather neutral expression. Sirius glanced around the room to other faces, including some of his cousins that had already come of age.  
"And if I refuse, you'll go after them..." he whispered, his gaze falling to the table between them all.  
"Not just go after them, Siri~ Aunty said I can tear them to bits~ Doesn't that sound exciting!?" Bellatrix chimed in, her voice rather sing-song for the topic at hand, which made it all the more unsettling.  
Sirius growled, throwing a glare in her direction, his eyes flashing gold a moment. "If I make my decision, they aren't to be touched!" he hissed, keeping his gaze directed straight at Bellatrix, who smiled at him in her mad way.  
His mother scoffed but waved a hand. "If that is what it takes," she replied rather dismissively. "Then it shall be done. With that settled, Sirius, go put your things away. Dinner will be served in a few hours. The adults have other things to discuss," she added rather coolly and dismissively.  
Sirius furrowed his brow and pushed his chair out, not hesitating once in his departure from the room. He headed straight to his bedroom and slammed the door closed. Once in his 'safe place', he dug through his trunk and pulled out parchment, ink well, quill and the two-way mirror that was gifted to him by James. He scrawled out a letter, doing his best to keep his calm as he did so.

'My dearest Prongs, and my loving Moony:  
I hope this reaches you through the mirror. I'm not quite sure how they work you know, you never explained. And I can't owl you, so this is all that I've got. I won't see you in the New Year, or ever again, for that matter. I'm stuck between a rock, and a hard place--as they say--and I've chosen my own way out. If I stay, I go against everything you've taught me, and shown me to be--I like who I've become because of you two. If I leave, I'll be putting you in the greatest danger--you and your families--and I don't want to be responsible for that. I can't protect you all simultaneously, not like that. But I /can/, in this way. And I'm so sorry...

Prongs, my best mate...Ask her out again. Get the girl. Marry her. Have children with her. But don't you dare forget about me.  
Moony...I love you. Really, truly and honestly love you. The way Prongs loves Lily, maybe. Maybe more.  
Take care of each other when I'm gone. Send my love to Minnie, will you?

With all my heart,  
Padfoot'

 

Carefully propping the letter against his pillow, he set up the mirror so that it would face the letter and would hopefully be seen by James and Remus at some point, whenever one of them checked their respective mirrors. Taking a deep breath, Sirius centered himself, preparing for what he was about to do. Some might call him a coward, some might consider his choice brave, but in this moment in time, he didn't see it as a choice; it was his only option. The only road that could be taken.  
He would /never/ join his family and serve the Dark Lord as one of his minions. They stood for everything that he and his friends had been fighting against all year at school.  
But he also couldn't run away. He couldn't run to his friends and seek their protection and risk bringing danger and death to their doorways. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if any harm came to any of them because of something he did or didn't do.

This was all that was left.  
He had to remove himself from the playing field.  
The Dark Knight had to take his final curtain call, take his bow.

He thought about James and Remus as he stole from his window and flew up to the roof on his broom. Once landed, he discarded the broom over the ledge; he wouldn't be needing it's help any longer. No more Quidditch games, no more beating Bludgers at the other team. No more early morning practices with James' overly eager self.  
No more full moons, running through the forest, free and four-legged. No more howling at the moon with Moony. No more puns based on their animal forms.  
No more anything.

As Sirius took the last step over the ledge of that awful house filled with awful people, he closed his eyes and smiled. A few stray tears slipped down his cheeks as the wind encompassed him, blanketed him, cradled him, kissed him goodbye.  
Through the darkness, he felt a quick, sickening snap

...and there was nothing.


End file.
